Friday, November 23, 2007

Alpha male e-mail fencing

Some things just speak for themselves. Below you see an edited chain of e-mails that just reek of testosterone.

The actors are VP1, VP2 and VP3 (plus the usual cc: audience). Guess which one is me.

The subject concerns all three but they head up different divisions. Note the use of cc: and the time. In real life everyone could see the e-mail history.

From: VP1
To: Team of VP1
cc: VP2;VP3
Subject: Something that concerns us
Time: 11:20 pm

Team, I just want to inform you that we now have the funding to go ahead with XYZ. Please go ahead and execute as planned.

Regards,
VP1

Replies VP2 in a seemingly innocent tone:

From: VP2
To: VP1
cc: Team of VP1;VP3
Subject: Re: Something that concerns us

Time: 11.30 pm

VP1,
Can you please share the details as you progress.

Thanks,
VP2

Enters VP3:

From: VP3
To: VP1
cc: Team of VP1;Team of VP2; CEO, CTO, CFO, CMO
Subject: Re: Something that concerns us
Time: 11.45 pm

All,
I don't approve of this. How come I was not informed. It's the wrong approach and is basically a waste of money. It's not planned properly and I ask you to stop all further activities!!!

VP3 (From my Blackberry)


Replies VP1 patiently:

From: VP1
To: VP3
cc: VP2
Subject: Re: Something that concerns us

Time: 12 pm

VP3,
I'm surprised to hear that you haven't heard of this. It was in the plan document that we reviewed two months ago and which you approved.

We're just executing that plan.

If you have further questions don't hesitate to call me.

Regards,
VP1

Replies VP3 going for the kill:

From: VP3
To: VP1
cc: Team of VP1;Team of VP2; CEO, CTO, CFO, CMO
Subject: Re: Something that concerns us

Time: 12.15 pm

VP1,
it's not your call to decide on this. I have said that I don't approve and that's it. Stop further actions immediately.
VP3

Interacts VP2, making a reference to his earlier reply (50 minutes ago!), insinuating that VP1 hasn't delivered to his promise. And re-invents himself as a a player in the approval chain.

From: VP2
To: VP1, VP3
cc: Team of VP1;Team of VP2; CEO, CTO, CFO, CMO
Subject: Re: Something that concerns us
Time: 12.17 pm

I haven't received the details I asked for yet. Please send so I can have an informed view. I'm not going to approve until I know more.

VP2

So now VP1 is caught in a snag. The other two VPs who approved a plan just two months ago are now aiming for his throat.

It continues for another couple of hours and it gets a lot nastier. I leave it up to you to do the analysis of the hidden agendas.

This is not an atypical event in my daily routine.

So who am I? Well, I'm not VP1.


3 comments:

Omar said...

hmm..
are you VP2?

can you please explain what's going on in each of the VP's heads?

I have always wondered, and I think it could be helpful to rise up the ladder..

Outsider on the inside said...

Haha, for me to know ...

VP1 is the current top dog and is trying to be helpful and inform VP2 and VP3 about progress.

VP2 knows something that the others don't know and is using this knowledge to offside VP1 who is ahead of him in the career.

VP3 senses a shift in the power positions and prepares to change sides to the winning team.

Kavita said...

I did not quite get your response to omar - is VP3 not the one who is trying to offside VP1? and VP2 the shifter?